If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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