And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
did i just pee glitter
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
