Just fell off a train. Bad.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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