I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
