I think i peed on brittanys purse
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize