guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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