3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
