Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize