She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
