garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
