The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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