I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
There r osticjed everywhere
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize