i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
