I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize