I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
