Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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