so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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