This is not my ceiling
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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