he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
