I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
