she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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