She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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