I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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