I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
