90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
