So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
