I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
