Christians are straight up FREAKS
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
