I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize