And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
