Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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