Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
