apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I enjoy the company of your penis
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