we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
