i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
