Don't make out with my wife yet
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
