I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
