we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I FOUND THE LEGS
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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