did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
