bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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