Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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