belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize