question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
