At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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