Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
