Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize