He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
