THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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