i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
