dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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