I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
