I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
