I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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