RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
