BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
