I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
