I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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