ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
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In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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