i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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