K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Everything about him screamed your future.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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