still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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