Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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