I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
