ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
